Ben tugged Leah’s black Sarong, whining for the hundredth time about why he couldn’t go down to the beach.
Leah rested her elbows on the balcony rail and gazed moodily at the plane wreckage along the high-water line. She had searched it with binoculars and couldn’t see any human remains, but she wasn’t going to take any chances.
‘Please mummy, I want to go to the beach!’ Ben tugged.
Leah slapped his hand away. ‘No Ben, I’ve told you, it’s too dangerous.’
His blue eyes looked up at her with incomprehension and full of tears.
Leah scooped him up and hugged him fiercely. ‘We’ll go and see Uncle Sam Ok? Maybe take the Belle out for a ride,’ she jiggled him on her hip. ‘Would you like that?’
His face buried in her neck, nodded slightly. ‘Can I take a toy?’
‘Yes, come on, let’s go find one.’
Leah put him down inside and he immediately ran off, all concerns of the beach evaporated as he searched his toys for the ones he wanted, executing a perfect downward dog as he looked under the sofa. He farted. ‘You stinky boy!’ Leah laughed.
Leah picked up a magazine from the floor and groaned from a back twinge. Sitting around for a few days had stiffened her up. Ben was collecting his Hot Wheels into a pile.
‘Mummy’s going to do some exercise,’ Leah said, finding her Discman and checking there was still power from the rechargables. She eventually found the CD she wanted; ‘Yoga Burn Music,’ under a stack of charts, and collected her yoga mat propped up by the door, rolling it out on the deck.
The air was fresh from the storm, yet to become heavy with humidity. The sun already hot but benign rather than bludgeoning her into submission and seeking shade. Leah unknotted the Sarong and in her bikini, started her stretching, enjoying the touch of the sun on her skin, the gradual easing of muscle and tension, breathing deeply, she increased the pressure on her body, feeling her muscles work, watching her reflection in the glass, pleased to see her figure was still well defined and lithe, a flat stomach, no sign of fat under her arms or thighs. Not too bad for someone nearly forty, she thought, pushing herself as the music became stronger, sweat building until it was running freely down her limbs, her honey tanned skin looking oiled and supple.
Ben appeared with his Spiderman backpack stuffed with his toy selection. ‘Ready Mummy,’ he shouted.
‘Ten minutes,’ Leah panted.
Ben joined in, making her laugh with his uncoordinated positions, throwing his body into impossible shapes with ease.
Leah finished in a prayer pose, helping Ben to sit between her legs. She gazed out to the horizon, closed her eyes, calming herself by breathing deeply. She thought of Mike, how nervous he had appeared when he kissed her goodbye, the dawn light catching the worry in his eyes. She had found it difficult to reassure him, their differences concerning the child survivor still causing tension between them.
She had never answered to anyone. Intolerant of others who needed reassurances for their actions. She was resentful that she felt guilty over her decision to help Sam and the girl. If she had listened to others, she would never have taken her boat on an insane mission to rescue a hostage for money. Money that they so desperately needed to keep her dreams afloat. The hostage happened to have been Mike’s brother, without that decision, she would never have met Mike and she would never have had Ben, who had added so much joy to her life.
Her decision, her mission had been a success. She frowned, cross with herself. No, it hadn’t been any kind of success. She had lost Ricardo, like Samuel, part of her crew, part of her family. Mike had been a consolation, again she admonished herself. He was way more than that. She had found love. Ricardo would always live on in her heart, a dark reminder that any decision in life had consequences. As they sailed away from the mainland back to a promising new life on Little Brac, Ricardo would always be there to remind her of the price she had paid for her happiness.
Then, a few short months later Airbola had taken hold across the world and here she was again. She found it difficult to remember a time when she didn’t feel that her life and those she loved weren’t being threatened. Her frustration between the battling emotions of love and independence wrestled within her.
‘I’m thirsty mummy.’
‘We can have an apple juice on the boat,’ she said excitedly.
Ben smiled. A rare treat. The cartons of apple juice had been put on board at the beginning; part of the food reserves for any island mission Diving Belle was called upon. Leah had resisted for a few months but when it became apparent Island Defender could handle the work, she had started to raid the supplies to supplement their own boring diet.
‘Come on then,’ Leah switched off the Sony Discman, stuffed a towel into a beach bag and picked him up, carrying him into the grove of palm trees that ran along the back of the beach to the jetty. She followed a well-trodden path, her bare feet hardened from years without wearing shoes, barely noticing the bits of shell and wood that would have most tourists cringing and hobbling for their shoes.
Samuel burst from the salon doors as she lowered Ben from the jetty onto the deck.
‘You’re going to have to keep a better look out,’ she admonished.
‘Sorry, I was below,’ Samuel said with a lopsided grin, then scooped Ben up in his arms. ‘How’s my boy?’
‘Mummy said I could have apple juice.’
Samuel’s arms looked like a pair of dark pythons curled around Ben, just his head showed above their girth. ‘Is that right?’ Samuel tossed Ben in the air like a ball, he screamed with delight and Samuel caught him effortlessly before whirling him around the deck.
‘You’ll pull his arms out,’ Leah laughed.
‘You’re too tough for that, aren’t you?’ Samuel threw him in the air again.
‘You’re going to make him sick,’ Leah cried.
There was movement at the door and a worried face peered out.
Immediately Leah made a move for Ben who was shouting ‘again, again,’ at Samuel.
‘It’s alright, it’s alright,’ Samuel said to Leah, putting Ben gently on the deck before holding out his hands to comfort the girl.
‘Sorry, instinct I guess,’ Leah said, taking hold of Ben and pulling him to her.
‘It’s been three days and I’ve been with her the whole time, and,’ he spread his arms, ‘I’m fine.’
Ben fidgeted in Leah’s hold. ‘Apple juice mummy, I want apple juice.’
‘Has she talked? Do you know her name?’ Leah said.
Samuel shook his head. ‘She has nightmares, cries out people’s names, mummy and daddy, that sort of thing, but she won’t talk to me,’ Samuel said, kneeling in front of the girl and smiling kindly. ‘She speaks English I know, but I think her native language is German, she uses both in her nightmares.’
‘Makes sense, it was a German plane,’ Leah said. ‘Can you get him an apple juice,’ she was still reluctant to get any closer to the girl.
Samuel nodded and went inside.
The girl stood at the door and stared. Her face was still recovering from the salt sores, cuts and bruises, but there was colour in her cheeks and strength in her body. Her long dark hair shone, and Leah guessed she must have allowed Samuel to shampoo it. Her lips were cracked and blistered. She licked them constantly. She was mending physically, but the horrors she was mentally struggling with, Leah could only imagine. Ben had stopped wriggling and was staring back at the girl.
‘This is my mummy,’ Ben said suddenly.
The girl clutched at the door frame and stuck a finger in the corner of her mouth.
‘Tell her your name,’ Leah said quietly.
‘I’m Ben Huntley,’ he said proudly.
The girl took a step back into the interior.
‘Ask her what her name is?’ Leah said.
‘What’s your name,’ Ben said dutifully.
The girl looked behind her and Samuel appeared holding out an apple juice carton. Ben squealed with delight and rushed forward before Leah could grab him. He brushed up against the girl as he grabbed the carton from Samuel’s hand.
‘Ben!’ Leah cried, before she could stop herself.
Ben looked confused and then held up the carton for her to pull off the straw and poke it through the foil covered opening.
‘You still OK taking her back to the house?’ Samuel said.
Leah handed Ben the drink. ‘Go and sit over there in the shade.’ She crossed her arms again. ‘I guess,’ she uncrossed them, ‘no, well Mike’s not OK with it, that’s for sure,’ she crossed them again.
‘She’s a little girl Leah, who’s lost everything. Being in a normal house with Ben around might help her to recover,’ he pointed to his head, ‘in here.’
Leah smiled tightly. ‘Still doesn’t change anything about what they would do if they found her.’
Samuel looked down at the girl, resting his hand on her head. The girl flinched a little but allowed his hand to rest there. ‘I’ve been thinking about that,’ the girl was watching Ben suck greedily at his apple juice. ‘I don’t wanna put you in danger you know that. I’ve been looking at the charts and there’s Inagua a few clicks from here where I could set up camp and keep her supplied.’
‘It’s a rock in the middle of nowhere,’ Leah scoffed. ‘You can’t abandon her out there, you might as well have left her on that plane wing.’
‘I’ll stay with her,’ Samuel said.
Leah shook her head impatiently. ‘You’re the captain of Island Defender, you don’t think they’ll miss you?’
‘I was hoping we could take it in turns to go out and make sure she’s ok?’
‘Seriously?’ Leah said.
Samuel was wearing a pair of tattered swimming shorts, the tropical colouring faded, the edging frayed, the elastic stretched. He casually hitched them up to below his six pack. His hair and beard were a mess but his body was still in great shape Leah thought. She diverted her gaze. ‘Suddenly the Belle starts going out and back to Inagua, suddenly you’re missing from duty… you don’t think they’ll notice? Anyway, how old do you think she is?’
Samuel looked down at the girl. ‘Seven, eight?’
‘Yeah, a bit young to be left on an island which doesn’t even support a palm tree! Not great for her mental well being!’
‘We could all leave,’ Samuel said, ‘they’ll never follow us.’
Leah waved him away irritably. ‘You’re making that the only option for us, and Mike’s not going to be happy.’
Leah went to the stern and looked out at the reef. She felt Samuel behind her but didn’t turn around. There were bits of wreckage isolated on the reef flat like mini icebergs. The channel through the reef had funnelled debris down to the mooring. It looked like Samuel had made a boom of rope and anchored buoys to prevent the debris contacting Diving Belle’s hull.
‘I’m sorry I’ve screwed up your lives.’
Leah rolled her shoulders, some of the tension returning. ‘I can smell rum on you.’
Samuel put his hands on her shoulders and started to massage.
Leah arched her neck, Samuel’s strong hands seemed to always hit the spot. She could feel them now working away the knots of stress.
‘You haven’t screwed anything up. You did the right thing.’
‘Your shoulders are colouring, stay here,’ Samuel said.
Leah looked over her shoulder. Ben was sitting on the deck in the shade playing with his Hot Wheels. The girl was watching him from the doorway.
Samuel reappeared waving a bottle of lotion.
Leah looked back out to sea, concentrating on the horizon, sighing as he spread the lotion into her skin and then resumed his massaging. ‘We’ll take her back to our house. I’ll work on Mike, he’ll be OK with it…has no choice…but we need to come up with another plan. It’s going to be impossible to keep her hidden forever.’
They were silent for a while, listening to Ben’s car noises, the rhythmic slap of waves against the hull, the cry of a sea bird, the squelch of lotion between his hands and her skin.
'You and Mike OK?’ Samuel said, working his fingers down her spine.
‘Yeah,’ Leah said eventually.
Samuel expertly unclipped her bra.
Leah grabbed the cups before they could fall away. ‘Easy Sam, what the hell y’ doing?’
‘Come on, ain’t nothing I haven’t seen before.’
She looked over her shoulder. ‘Maybe. But that was before Mike and certainly before I had a son… watching.’
‘I remember you bathing naked on the foredeck…man it was a sight to behold,’ Samuel murmured, kneeling so he could massage her lower back.
Leah stretched, hiding the fact that his fingers were stimulating other parts of her body. ‘You never made a move, I appreciate that,’ Leah said.
‘Man, I wanted to, no straight guy on this planet wouldn’t, but Ricardo warned me off. Said, if I ever touched you, he’d kill me.’
Leah bowed her head. ‘Dear Rikky, I know he loved me, but he could never get it through his head, I only loved him like a brother. We could never have been together,’ she closed her eyes, losing herself to the sensations, remembering Rikky, pushing away thoughts of how it had ended. ‘You think he would've?’
‘What’s that,’ Samuel said, his fingers working out along her lower back.
‘Have killed you,’ Leah said.
Samuel was silent for a minute. ‘No, I don’t think he had it in him, but it would have ruined what we had, and that was too important to me.’
Leah turned round, one hand holding her bikini in place. She looked down at him. ‘You’re assuming I’d have been interested.’ She smiled, ‘You know I think of you like a brother too.’
Samuel smiled shyly, and stood slowly. The massage had stimulated him in a very obvious way. He made no attempt to hide it and it pressed into Leah who could not pull away as her back was against the deck rail. They held each other’s gaze.
‘You sure about that?’ Samuel said quietly.
Leah’s attention flicked over his shoulder to Ben, racing cars up and down the teak planking. She could feel him pressing into her and her own disturbing reaction. Finally, she looked back into his eyes. ‘Very sure,’ her eyes narrowed, ‘back off Sam,’ she held his gaze until he moved away, his waistband pulled away from his body by the strength of his reaction. ‘You ever try anything like that again, rum or no rum, I’ll kick you in the balls. I love Mike and I have a son with him, end of.’ She turned to look back out to sea. ‘I’m going to take a shower then I’ll take the girl back on my own. You’ll be staying here and if you’re bored call the crew from Island Defender and they can help you clear this shit up,’ she said harshly, clamping down on the physical emotions coursing through her body.